Today, I want to share one of my personal testimonies. A few years back, I experienced what I consider the most challenging trials since giving my life to Christ. While it wasn’t my first hardship, it was the first to truly shake me to my core, deeply impacting every aspect of my life.
Beginning of my Christian life
One of the many miracles Jesus did in my life was to save my marriage. I would soon give testimony at church on a testimonial service where I gave thanks along with my husband to God and shared what He had done. He rescued my marriage and soon after giving my life to Christ, my husband followed by giving his own life to Jesus. It was truly a miracle. Not only had God saved my marriage but had transformed us. He renewed our hearts and minds, saved us, and made new creatures of us. All of this within a year that we started going to church. We were truly a living testimony to all those around us.
Spiritual attack
Three years later, despite the enemy’s failed attempts to weaken my faith and trust in the Lord through various means, he once again sought to disrupt my marriage.
This reminds me of Matthew 12:43-45 where we read about an impure spirit that leaves and looks for another place to dwell in but after not finding a new place he returns to his old home. Upon arriving he finds the home unkept and before entering again he decides to go call some of his fellow mates and invites them to stay in his old home. What we later read is how the home ends up being worse than how it was with only one unclean spirit since it ends up having multiple spirits. Going back to my testimony, the unclean spirit came and after finding my home unkept it decided to go call his buddies and come to my home again.
The enemy entered my home, dismantled my marriage and with it my family. I remember clearly how the enemy would whisper where is your God? Where is that faith you shared with others? Where is the word of God that gives hope and courage? Where is your Almighty, the All Powerful, your Heavenly Father, your Savior? Where is your marriage testimony? They were truly hard times where not only did I had to deal with my own mental and emotional state but my children’s too. It was a time of loneliness in the middle of being surrounded by so many people.
Then doubt entered my mind. I asked myself, what if this is what God wants? Is this God’s will? Is this from him? What if God does not want me to remain with my husband?
Sadness was strong. Tears rolled down my cheeks constantly. I had not cried of sadness for so long. Probably since I’d given my life to Jesus. He had healed me, he had freed me from all depression when I had a special encounter with him but all that was gone or so I thought.
I started to give up and in a conversation with the pastor’s wife I asked her, “What if this is God’s will and I’m fighting against it?” She firmly told me no, God’s will is for your family to be together. That was all I had to hear to stand firm in my marriage.
Surrendering my marriage
Although I understood what God’s will was, I did not know that I hadn’t surrendered my marriage to God until one day the enemy gave me what I wanted to hear. “Leave church and I will give you your marriage back,” the enemy told me. He told me so firmly that I believed it. I truly believed he would give it back to me. This was the turning point to surrendering my marriage. As I confronted the enemy eye to eye, I stood up with all my might, wiped my tears and answered him firmly, “I will not leave church for my marriage, you can keep it.”
That was my faith talking, my spirit boldly talking without a doubt as I surrendered my marriage. Letting go of what I had desperately wanted for months. That moment made me free as I surrendered my marriage and went to God’s arms. To be honest, I even surprised myself. I could not believe that I was letting go of my marriage. But I knew what the enemy’s intention was. I chose God and trusted Him knowing that He was there with me. I knew he had a plan in all of this even though I could not see it. God was reaffirming me that my faith remained steadfast and that He was by my side.
I never got my marriage back. That marriage truly died. It came to an end. When you come to the Lord and start diving into his Word you learn how things need to die in order to bring life. God surrendered his only son for our own salvation (John 3:16). Jesus had to die in order to give us life. He surrendered his own life in order to give us salvation (Matthew 27:45-54, Luke 23:44-46). The early Christians and apostles suffered and died sharing God’s words which gave life to many people. Sacrifices had to occur in order to bring eternal life to us. I sacrificed my worldly life and my old self in order to become a new creature. I continue to surrender myself every day to God in order to maintain my salvation and eternal life with Him.
My marriage had to die to bring life to a new one. God had permitted the enemy to creep in my home again for His honor and glory. While the enemy giggled with all his buddies as he saw me fall to the floor, as he saw my children suffer the consequences and how my husband’s life crumbled in front of him, God was handcrafting a new life to my old marriage and with it a family he could Glorify himself. God had a plan all along that neither of us could see through our human eyes.
Our new marriage
Was our new marriage easy? No. There was a long period where it all seemed dark and doomed to failure. Upon the rebirth of our new marriage challenges arose. It truly was new. We had to learn to live together again, to trust each other, to love each other all over again. There were times when I doubted but I had to fight those thoughts and let myself guide myself through my spiritual eyes because I knew it was my human eyes that could not see beyond God’s plans.
Fast forward a few years, we are a living testimony. We don’t take for granted what God has done. We know what God did. We take care of ourselves and our marriage. After God, our marriage is our priority.
My marriage is way stronger than the old one. The roots that grew from the new seed have grown and deepened with our trust, love, and care. It has grown beautifully. I never thought my marriage could reach these new heights and probably it couldn’t with our own strength. It is God’s Holy Spirit that guides us, teaches us, and corrects us. We have set God’s never changing presence to be our foundation in this ever-changing world.
Hope for tomorrow
Now I ask you, is there something God wants you to surrender? What are you asking the Lord to give you? What have you prayed for that God has not answered? Maybe you’re waiting for something you will never get but don’t get discouraged for the Lord has said that he has good plans for you, for He does not have plans to harm you but rather give you hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Don’t be afraid, don’t let others discourage you, don’t let your human eyes deceive you but rather trust in the Lord with all your heart and all your might (Proverbs 3:5-6). Talk with others that are strong in their faith because through them God will give you hope, courage and reinforce your faith.
I hope to give anyone who is going through a hardship hope for a better tomorrow. It is written that all shall pass except God and His word (Matthew 24:35). Whatever you’re going through, it will end. Keep your sight on God and only Him. Trust and have faith (2 Corinthians 5:7) that whatever you’re going through will truly make you stronger and it will show you how strong your faith is (James 1:2-3, 1 Peter 5:10). God bless.
Still in God 
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